The Dynasty Returns!!!

This post is dedicated to my favorite team in the NFL, and soon to be NFC Champions and set down another Superbowl Trophy – the San Francisco 49ers!!!

I have had a lot of sleepless nites leading up to this Sundays NFC Championship game, and I have been working hard during those nites to bring all of you some top notch drinks to enjoy during the game and on any day with the 49ers playing. Usually I have pictures and all, but since this took the whole week to put together – and it has been a long, drunk week, no pics. Also a little light on the words, just cutting to the chase for ya.

In the words of the great Rick James (played by Dave Chappelle) – “Enjoy yourself, bitches!”

For the Offense:

The Alex Smith © (#11): (Collins Glass)

The 49ers Quarterback is a trooper – calm and collective (this year), stalwart, and surprisingly long lasting. Drink this drink enough and you could get sick of it – or, bask in its long-lastingness.

  • 2 oz Gin
  • 1 oz Lemon Juice
  • 1/2 oz Grenadine
  • 1/2 oz Creme de Noyaux (Optional)
  • 1 tsp Sugar (more or less)
  • 1 Egg White
  • Sprite
  • Ice

Drop all ingredients excluding Sprite into an ice filled shaker. Shake like a salt shaker. Pour into ice-filled Collins Glass. Fill with Sprite. Garnish with a Cherry and Pineapple Wedge. You can definitely make this drink stronger with more Gin, or sweeter with more sugar. And I definitely suggest dropping the Bombay Sapphire Jim Rome style. Rack ém!

The David Akers © (#2): (Champagne Flute)

Akers has been MONEY all damn year. Almost can’t miss, and for that, we break out the dollar-dollar bottle for him. And this all-world class guy deserves the best of the best for being the solid go-to guy for the 49ers.

  • 1/2 oz Grand Marnier
  • 1/2 oz POM Liqueur
  • 1 oz POM Juice
  • Cristal (yes, I said Cristal)

In a frosted (i.e. nearly frozen) Champagne Flute, drop in the Grand Marnier, POM and POM Juice. Fill the fooker up with Cristal. MONEY!

The Frank Gore © (#21): (Rocks Glass)

Frank is a beast. A mythical man, with in-human abilities to twist and turn thru the defense and power on to the goal-line. This guy is solid and for a solid guy, a solid drink. Again we reach for the top shelf.

  • 1 oz Wild Turkey 101 Rye
  • 1 oz Herradura Reposado Tequila (because I just can’t ever use Añejo as a mixer)
  • 1/2 Creme De Noyaux
  • Pineapple Juice
  • OJ
  • 1/2 oz Grenadine
  • Ice

In the Rocks Glass with ice pour in the Turkey, Herradura, Noyaux, and Grenadine. Fill with half OJ and half Pineapple Juice. Garnish with Cherry and Pineapple Wedge. Slam this one down.

The Vernon Davis © (#85): (Rocks Glass)

If there ever was a superhero on this team, this guy is it. 2 big-time catches, 2 big-time touchdowns. His new nickname should be “Clutch” instead of “Cyborg”. A quick wikipedia peruse for more good knowledge also shows Clutch here is a man of the arts. And with that, we go to some classy alcohol, break the rules again, and reach for the top.

  • 1 oz Courvoisier (take your pick of the litter)
  • 1 oz Grand Marnier
  • 1/2 oz Creme de Noyaux.
  • Ice

Fill the Rocks Glass only half-way with ice. Don’t cry as you pour in the ‘Vois, then follow it up with Marny. Slow pour in the Noyaux and shake the glass a bit to give it a stir. If you start with The Alex Smith and finish with The Vernon Davis, you can’t lose.

For the Defense:

The Justin Smith © (#94): (Rocks Glass)

Justin Smith is a friggen monster. And to compliment this defensive master in a drink, you have to bring some hardcore firepower – and to do that ya gotta reach for the top shelf once more. This drink is a punch in the mouth and a body blow all in one.

  • 1 oz Jack Daniels Single Barrel
  • 1 oz Bacardi 151
  • 1/2 oz Grenadine
  • OJ
  • Splash of Creme de Noyaux
  • Sprite
  • Ice

Fill the Rocks Glass with ice. Pour in the Jack, then the 151. Fill ‘er up with the OJ but leave a little space. Top off with the Noyaux and Sprite. Get ready for the punch!

The Aldon Smith © (#99): (Collins Glass)

Aldon Smith has had a legendary rookie year. He nearly broke the all-time rookie record during the regular season, and is just destroying offensive lines with his brute strength and speed. Possessing an amazing mix of talent and re-defining the characteristics of a pass rusher, this drink takes a whole lot and packs it into a flavorful blast that can knock you out.

  • 1/2 oz Rum
  • 1/2 oz Midori
  • 1/2 oz Tequila
  • 1/2 oz Whiskey
  • 1/2 oz Southern Comfort
  • 1/2 oz Apple Schnapps
  • 1/2 oz Cinnamon Schnapps
  • OJ
  • Hawaiian Punch
  • 1/2 oz Grenadine
  • Ice

Fill your Collins Glass with the ice and just start pouring the alcohol. Put equal parts OJ and Hawaiian Punch to fill the rest of the glass and top off with Grenadine. Stir a bit to mix it up, and just take it easy.

Pain and Suffering © (aka Patrick Willis #52 & NaVorro Bowman #53): (Collins Glass)

KNBR deemed these two Pain and Suffering in a quick promo, and that gives us the last drink in the line-up to round everything out. These two are a force to be reckoned with and are nearly unbeatable together. I would not want to be the one trying to make a move past either of these guys. (Oh, make sure this Collins Glass is a tall one).

First the PAIN:
  • 2 oz Jagermeister
  • 2 oz Tabasco Tequila


  • 2 oz 100 Proof Rumpleminze Peppermint Schnapps
  • 2 oz Fire Ball Cinnamon Whiskey
  • Couple dashes Pepper Plant™ Habanero Sauce

Take all the ingredients in order and pour into ice filled tall Collins Glass. Stir quite a bit to make it easier on yourself and sit down. You might be knocked over when drinking this.


I know plenty of others should get drinks. I’ll let you decide. For now, Go Niners!

—Dirty, a proud member of the Faithful

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