Hangover? Me!!??!? SOB!

“Your an asshole man, you’re lucky you’re you”. Wtf?!?! That’s what I woke up to last Friday, after a loooooooonnggg nite of drinking. And that was one of my best buddies telling me that. What the fuck happened you ask? I can sum it up real quick. so quick I got just one word for it – Jameson! Yes, THE Jameson. Ya know, like Dave Attell says about Jaeger – wake up in the middle of nowhere not knowing what’s going on with a hickey and a bag if Fritos in your underwear? Jaeger. Cept for me…Jameson.
I was originally going to write all about opening week for baseball and how awesome it is that AT&T park is now serving Buffalo Trace whiskey outta their well (with a segway into talking about wells.) But instead imma rant. And part of my rant includes giving a round of applause to Jameson for giving me something I’ve NEVER had before – a motherfucking hangover. How’d I know it was a hangover since I’ve never had one? Well, if you wake up with a pounding headache, walking hurts, you feel like you got into a bar fight with a bull, and are dehydrated like you were lost in the desert for weeks….isn’t that a hangover? I love The Hangover movies, but I couldn’t relate to lapses in time and feeling the way they did. But it was funny as shit.
Soooooooo, how did Jameson do the nasty to me? Whiskey sour. Yeh, I said it, just plain ol whiskey sour. 1oz to 2oz of whiskey and fill w/ sourmix. I had in excess of 10 of those no question. And oh, let’s not forget the Wild Turkey I asked to float on top. “Just float it” as my buddy reminds me I was saying all nite. Needless to say I already had had a few beers and whiskey sours earlier in the day. Ugh. And then I had to work the next day.
Motherucking aye. I have the lucky trait of surviving that on a normal basis. It also reminds me why I drink at home more now. Bar tabs. I love and hate bars. Love the people, hate the prices…unless Yer at a dive bar, but even then that could get pricey. I love bars for the women – fuck all that online dating shit…please, a bar or some other outside area is where I like to meet the ladies. But, that’d where the other part of hate comes from – sometimes ya can’t hear shit! “Hey can I buy u a drink?” “What?” “Can I buy you a drink?” “Huh?” “Can I play in your stink?” Ahhahah. Well all kidding aside bars are great.
“Dirty, you forgot to finish your story” . Oh Yeh, whoops. So, after getting completely blitzed …my buddy and his coworkers had left already and I figured it was time for me to go too. I texted some gibberish I have no idea what I was trying to say to my friend…and started the trek back to his house nearby. I fucking “walked” an extra 6 blocks before I realized I passed it and walked back, knocked on his door, yacked, in his toilet and well…blacked out. I woke up wondering where I was, thinking “oh no, not again”…you know the feeling, at some random woman’s house, looking for your clothes, getting ready to dial 777-7777 …and then – “you’re an asshole.” Me? Yeh. I took over my friend’s bed – he had to sleep on the couch. Whoops! Don’t remember that one bud, I blacked out in the bathroom. And I got this messed up headache and I feel like shit. Jameson.
Pick up a phatty bottle of Jameson @ Costco for $35 (1.75L).

— Dirty

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