Monthly Archives: January 2012

In the Jungle

Posted on by
Reply

This week was fun in that my shift was flipped and all I had time for was to drink beers mostly (at least 1 a day right?). During the whole week however I did have 1 thing already prepared from the last post, Jungle Juice!.

What is Jungle Juice you ask? Well, basically it is a mix of whatever you have lying around alcohol wise tossed together with your choice of juice(s) to get –  Jungle Juice. Urban Dictionary gives a good account as always of the Jungle Juice mix.

Anyways, what the hell am I talking about this for? Well, it wasn’t easy to come up with all those drinks for the 49ers. I had a lot of, shall we say, undrinkable drinks that I made when stumbling thru my books for ideas, surfing the net for ideas, and asking friends for ideas. Plus, it doesn’t help that each trial run of the drinks made me a little drunker –  which made some of my combination decisions questionable at that point. By the end of figuring out The Alex Smith, I had drank probably a whole cup of Gin and Vodka (had to try vodka), along with a couple eggs and plenty of sugar. Sitting at Denny’s eating pancakes like they were nothing must have been a site to see. (Pancakes are awesome booze absorbers). The Aldon Smith was an accidental on purpose mix…I was drinking a Long Island and ended up pouring not one, but two failures into it not realizing and then drank it…and it was fucking awesome!

When I start my note taking I usually keep a pitcher at my bar to pour in the no-go’s or unfinished drinks. Sometimes I make a lot of sample sizes and, if the sample tastes odd, I pour that in as well. By the end of the night, I have a small portion of my juice already made. Carry that over the week and more than half the pitcher was full. Easily enough, come game time the following Sunday, all I had to do was pour in some OJ, Cranberry and Pineapple Juice…shake and blammo, Jungle Juice (and damn tasty might I add).

“But Dirty, didn’t you say you drank it all week?”. Shut up! Too observant. Yes, I did say that because well, an NFC Championship game is damn hard to get parking, and even damn harder to get out of the lot. I ended up only being able to drink 2 cups before going into the game, and since I am the driver, 0 cups after. Thus leaving me an ample supply of 49er Jungle Juice to cry over the rest of the week (49ers lost)…and, Jungle Juice is that magical to make it all feel better. With a kick no less.

But don’t worry – their loss is our gain as it inspires yet again more drink concoctions to come…stay tuned.

—Dirty

The Dynasty Returns!!!

Posted on by
Reply

This post is dedicated to my favorite team in the NFL, and soon to be NFC Champions and set down another Superbowl Trophy – the San Francisco 49ers!!!

I have had a lot of sleepless nites leading up to this Sundays NFC Championship game, and I have been working hard during those nites to bring all of you some top notch drinks to enjoy during the game and on any day with the 49ers playing. Usually I have pictures and all, but since this took the whole week to put together – and it has been a long, drunk week, no pics. Also a little light on the words, just cutting to the chase for ya.

In the words of the great Rick James (played by Dave Chappelle) – “Enjoy yourself, bitches!”

For the Offense:

The Alex Smith © (#11): (Collins Glass)

The 49ers Quarterback is a trooper – calm and collective (this year), stalwart, and surprisingly long lasting. Drink this drink enough and you could get sick of it – or, bask in its long-lastingness.

  • 2 oz Gin
  • 1 oz Lemon Juice
  • 1/2 oz Grenadine
  • 1/2 oz Creme de Noyaux (Optional)
  • 1 tsp Sugar (more or less)
  • 1 Egg White
  • Sprite
  • Ice

Drop all ingredients excluding Sprite into an ice filled shaker. Shake like a salt shaker. Pour into ice-filled Collins Glass. Fill with Sprite. Garnish with a Cherry and Pineapple Wedge. You can definitely make this drink stronger with more Gin, or sweeter with more sugar. And I definitely suggest dropping the Bombay Sapphire Jim Rome style. Rack ém!

The David Akers © (#2): (Champagne Flute)

Akers has been MONEY all damn year. Almost can’t miss, and for that, we break out the dollar-dollar bottle for him. And this all-world class guy deserves the best of the best for being the solid go-to guy for the 49ers.

  • 1/2 oz Grand Marnier
  • 1/2 oz POM Liqueur
  • 1 oz POM Juice
  • Cristal (yes, I said Cristal)

In a frosted (i.e. nearly frozen) Champagne Flute, drop in the Grand Marnier, POM and POM Juice. Fill the fooker up with Cristal. MONEY!

The Frank Gore © (#21): (Rocks Glass)

Frank is a beast. A mythical man, with in-human abilities to twist and turn thru the defense and power on to the goal-line. This guy is solid and for a solid guy, a solid drink. Again we reach for the top shelf.

  • 1 oz Wild Turkey 101 Rye
  • 1 oz Herradura Reposado Tequila (because I just can’t ever use Añejo as a mixer)
  • 1/2 Creme De Noyaux
  • Pineapple Juice
  • OJ
  • 1/2 oz Grenadine
  • Ice

In the Rocks Glass with ice pour in the Turkey, Herradura, Noyaux, and Grenadine. Fill with half OJ and half Pineapple Juice. Garnish with Cherry and Pineapple Wedge. Slam this one down.

The Vernon Davis © (#85): (Rocks Glass)

If there ever was a superhero on this team, this guy is it. 2 big-time catches, 2 big-time touchdowns. His new nickname should be “Clutch” instead of “Cyborg”. A quick wikipedia peruse for more good knowledge also shows Clutch here is a man of the arts. And with that, we go to some classy alcohol, break the rules again, and reach for the top.

  • 1 oz Courvoisier (take your pick of the litter)
  • 1 oz Grand Marnier
  • 1/2 oz Creme de Noyaux.
  • Ice

Fill the Rocks Glass only half-way with ice. Don’t cry as you pour in the ‘Vois, then follow it up with Marny. Slow pour in the Noyaux and shake the glass a bit to give it a stir. If you start with The Alex Smith and finish with The Vernon Davis, you can’t lose.

For the Defense:

The Justin Smith © (#94): (Rocks Glass)

Justin Smith is a friggen monster. And to compliment this defensive master in a drink, you have to bring some hardcore firepower – and to do that ya gotta reach for the top shelf once more. This drink is a punch in the mouth and a body blow all in one.

  • 1 oz Jack Daniels Single Barrel
  • 1 oz Bacardi 151
  • 1/2 oz Grenadine
  • OJ
  • Splash of Creme de Noyaux
  • Sprite
  • Ice

Fill the Rocks Glass with ice. Pour in the Jack, then the 151. Fill ‘er up with the OJ but leave a little space. Top off with the Noyaux and Sprite. Get ready for the punch!

The Aldon Smith © (#99): (Collins Glass)

Aldon Smith has had a legendary rookie year. He nearly broke the all-time rookie record during the regular season, and is just destroying offensive lines with his brute strength and speed. Possessing an amazing mix of talent and re-defining the characteristics of a pass rusher, this drink takes a whole lot and packs it into a flavorful blast that can knock you out.

  • 1/2 oz Rum
  • 1/2 oz Midori
  • 1/2 oz Tequila
  • 1/2 oz Whiskey
  • 1/2 oz Southern Comfort
  • 1/2 oz Apple Schnapps
  • 1/2 oz Cinnamon Schnapps
  • OJ
  • Hawaiian Punch
  • 1/2 oz Grenadine
  • Ice

Fill your Collins Glass with the ice and just start pouring the alcohol. Put equal parts OJ and Hawaiian Punch to fill the rest of the glass and top off with Grenadine. Stir a bit to mix it up, and just take it easy.

Pain and Suffering © (aka Patrick Willis #52 & NaVorro Bowman #53): (Collins Glass)

KNBR deemed these two Pain and Suffering in a quick promo, and that gives us the last drink in the line-up to round everything out. These two are a force to be reckoned with and are nearly unbeatable together. I would not want to be the one trying to make a move past either of these guys. (Oh, make sure this Collins Glass is a tall one).

First the PAIN:
  • 2 oz Jagermeister
  • 2 oz Tabasco Tequila

The the SUFFERING:

  • 2 oz 100 Proof Rumpleminze Peppermint Schnapps
  • 2 oz Fire Ball Cinnamon Whiskey
  • Couple dashes Pepper Plant™ Habanero Sauce

Take all the ingredients in order and pour into ice filled tall Collins Glass. Stir quite a bit to make it easier on yourself and sit down. You might be knocked over when drinking this.

 

I know plenty of others should get drinks. I’ll let you decide. For now, Go Niners!

—Dirty, a proud member of the Faithful

Who should get a drink?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

No Thunder from down under

Posted on by
Reply

Disclaimer here: I do like plenty of different brands and you will definitely see some reviews of the good stuff don’t worry!. For whatever reason the items I have been coming across lately to add to the excessively large bar I have going on here, just plain stink! But hey, that’s why I am here, to give you the real deal on those items, even on the value deal items like my next headshot target – Australia Boomerang Vodka!

Now this little gem I found while scouring for snacks at Trader Joe’s. It retails for $10 (1st warning sign) and, there was plenty of it sitting there (with accompanying dust, telling me it’s been awhile).  Let’s dig in shall we?

Boomerang says on the bottle it is made from grapes (Yikes!), and not just any old table grapes, they are “Premium Australian Grapes”. Now, there is one other Vodka made from grapes right now…and I will be sharing my opinion on that soon enough, but lemme just say this – GRAPES ARE FOR WINE!!! What’s that? Didn’t catch what I really meant there…well, I will say it again…, slower. GRAPES. ARE. FOR. WINE!!!!! (Added a few more “!” just, ya know, for emphasis). I do not understand this (dying, I hope) trend to make Vodka out of things that are not really meant to be made into Vodka. Please, producers, stop now. Or at the very least, get a larger sample size of taste testers. What’s next? Vodka made from lettuce!!!

Moving on, the bottle also spouts out that it is the 1st luxury vodka from Australia and of course, the ubiquitous “Distilled 5 times”. Some more blah blah blah on the bottle and then the legal stuff we always see.

“Hey Dirty, enough with the bottle already!!!” Okay, okay. Nitty Gritty time.

I ripped the seal and twisted off the cap to get the 1st sniff, and amazingly it smelled decent. Time for the real deal – 1st shot. Yeh, no. Nearly spat it out. $10 Vodka indeed. And this ain’t Russia, with a bajillion Vodka’s for under $10 that DO taste good. Maybe we will find one here (reminds me I need to visit this store I know of…). Boomerang has  a pretty nasty bite to it, but amazingly not too harsh a burn. It is definitely something to that is destined for the mixing shelf, but let’s just see how many buddies it needs to bring along.

First batter up to the task is my best buddy Red Bull. I can’t stand Red Bull outside of pairing it with some alcohol…but that is another story. Vodka Redbull is the usual call for this, but sometimes I hear Raging Bull or Angry Bull too depending on the bar. Right off the bat after pouring you get the normal good taste that this concoction offers. But then that funny bite hits ya and nearly ruins the drink. Too bad, because almost all the rest of the drinks I tried with this were terrible as well.

Next on the line is the working mans drink – the Screwdriver. This drink is the standard-bearer for Vodka in my taste rotations and Boomerang ruined this one. Not only did the OJ fail to mix well with this, Boomerang just returned right to the top, cutting thru all the mixer and punching thru with it’s bite again. Sigh. Let’s move on. Kamikaze time! No bueno. That weird sour grape taste bite just comes thru again and ruins it all. I didn’t waste my time editing to try the Kamikaze Drop. Switching gears I went to another tried and true drink with Vodka, always classy Cosmopolitan. Again, a struggle to put down that sour grape bite. Some modifications with Agave Syrup and a little POM Juice certainly helped, but, with 3 mixers here and still not blending well, that is pretty shameful. For the last drink, I went to one of my shot books and found this pleasure pleaser, Cocaine. As a shooter this drink of course goes down fast, and boy, with quality Vodka this would be fucking awesome (just to test that, I made one with Grey Goose just for kicks). Too bad it is just okay and holds up. Again, maxing out the mixers you would ever want to put in with just one alcohol stinks.

So, Australia, this Boomerang can fly right back to ya. It hit me in the head, but you guys should definitely duck outta the way. One thing for sure tho, like all alcohols, it will get you drunk – so it does have that going for it. And it does come in a nice big 1.75L bottle, so moderately made Jell-o shots could work here too (Hmmmmmm).

Anyways, till next time.

—Dirty

G'day Mates! Bottom of pic to left in a circle: Shot, Cocaine, Vodka Redbull, Screwdriver, Cosmo